#Old prank call jokes crack#

How do you measure the mass of an influencer's following? By Instagrams!.How do you deal with a fear of speed bumps? You slowly get over it.What did the seal with one fin say to the shark? If seal is broken, do not consume.What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday.How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but he has to do it during dinner.What concert would cost only 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!.Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field.Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, houses can't jump.I have a clean conscious-it's never been used.If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?.What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1.Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to go spreading it!.Try the seafood diet-you see food, then you eat it.Stop looking for the perfect match use a lighter.Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.I'm writing a book about glue, but I'm stuck on the first chapter.Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn't like it.Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!.What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I'll go on ahead!.Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!.What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!.Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!.Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!.What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!.I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.What did the big flower say to the little flower? 'Hi, bud!'.

#Old prank call jokes crack#

Why don't eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!.

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!.

How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!.

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!.

Go ahead and share these all-time funniest dad jokes on your friends and family-you're guaranteed to get a laugh! Maybe he'll surprise Ree (who has the best mom jokes, we should add). These one-liners, puns, and funny jokes for kids are appropriate for any time of day, month, or year! We're sure that Ree Drummond's husband Ladd appreciates a cheesy dad joke-he loves a good prank, after all. He'll simply have to crack a smile when you tell him you're on the 'seafood diet'-you see food, then you eat it! (Get it?) And if you're struggling with finding gifts for dad this year, frame a special picture of the two of you with a DIY card that says: 'What's the difference between a man's wallet before and after kids? There are pictures where the money used to be.'

We've gathered the best dad jokes to share with your old man on any occasion, whether that's one of his Father's Day messages or simply a good morning text. Take the one about the 'two sheep that walk into a-baaaa.' See, some dad jokes are so bad that they're actually funny! If that sounds familiar, it's because these corny one-liners are a childhood staple! And honestly, they're so endearing. Those sacred jokes have a punch line that's usually a predictable pun or play on words, and the cheesiness just makes you smile. Dad jokes are that sweet, common variety of 'wholesome' humor that comes from the guys who always make us laugh and cringe. Do you know how a regular joke levels up to a dad joke? It happens when the punch line becomes a parent! 😂 But really-that's the perfect example of this *unique* brand of funny.